Magical Mailbox.

Today I’d like to provide all of you with a little look inside one of the most mysterious & secret places in the world: Dexter Crowley’s e-mail inbox. The place where all the love letters & hate mails go: – well, what’s happening there, in this enchanted little mailbox? Let me show you. I’ll now have a look back to the wondrous things I recieved during the last week…

1.) Uh-hm, a mail from “ISP Support“… Let’s see.

Video tapes stolen from insane rapists!
Forbidden in majority of countries!

Now, what the fuck is that? Rape sex porn? Faked, of course… Is that fucking absurd, or what? I took a close look at the site (investigative as I am!) and observed how similar this looks, compared to the usual porn sites… The only difference is that the girls are instructed to look ugly and unhappy while being fucked.

normal porn: “Oh yes… that feels so good…. please cum inside me…. yeeeeeessss….”
rape porn: “Oh no…. that hurts… please don’t do this…. nooooo….”

2.) See chics suck horse cock 8.30542779312769

“Hot babes doing the freakiest things with animals”
“It’s fucking disgusting!”

Uhm, yeah… the last statement pretty much hits the spot. Now, the question is, what makes these people think that I could be interested in seeing women fucking horses? Has anybody seen me standing near a farmyard and assumed I was looking for some raw pigsex? Or was it the last time I mentioned “Erding” in my adress when somebody looked it up on a map and made a wild guess about what people must be into over here?

But this site has even more to offer! Midget Madness! Chicks with Dicks! Deep Fisting! Stretched Assholes! Pierced Pussies! Gimps! Wait a second… what the fuck are gimps?!

3.) Then, there’s the usual “personal letter”-type of mailings…


Schön das Du Dich bei mir gemeldet hast. Hast jetzt noch Lust Dich mit mir zu treffen?
Mich würde es auf jedem Fall sehr freuen. Schau Dir auch mal meine Homepage an und melde Dich dann bei mir.

Meine Adresse lautet:

Bussi, Petra

Always makes me think of a lovely Sexy Losers comic on that topic: Love and Spam

I’ll save you from reading the 46 other mails, including classical stuff like “earn your college degree online“, “enlarge your penis“, “accept credit cards NOW“, “immer frischer Kaffee!”, “the lowest rates on mortgage loans” etc. etc. Regarding the fact that all these emails are supposed to be “customized” and “personalized” contents, I now consider myself being a pedophile, horsefucking, rapist – with a tiny cock, without any school degree and no money. And no fresh coffee.

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